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It’s Only A Bloody DoL’s Conference

February 26, 2013

On Friday 1st March, I’ve been invited back to speak at the Yorkshire and Humber DoL’s Conference. In fact, I have an afternoon session entitled “A Q&A with Mark Neary”. I like that – it puts me in mind of An Audience with Dame Edna Everage”. I might end my Q&A by lobbing gladioli into the audience. It’s an honour to be invited and I’m really looking forward to it. Since becoming a Leeds United supporter, me and Leeds are old flames now. This time, I’m going to forsake the claustrophobic attention of Jefferson, the Maitre D at the Premier Inn; I’m going to pass up a revisit to the noxious smell in the bathroom at the Park Plaza. Instead I’m parking up at the Crowne Plaza. I’ll get there just after 5pm; perhaps half an hour in the spa pool; a hearty meal and then a couple of drinks in the bar whilst reading the latest Socrates novel. Just what Dr Feelgood ordered.

But my goodness, the preparation for it is a military operation. I did the weekly shopping today (instead of Friday). Tomorrow, I’ve got the meeting about my housing benefit in the morning and then work from 2pm to 8pm, so couldn’t do the shopping then. By the times I get home tomorrow night, the support worker will be clocking off, so won’t have time for anything then.

I’ve got an hour tomorrow morning to:

Pack
Sort out Steven’s medication for two days.
Write my talk.
Label up 20 music DVDs for the support worker to do the Thursday night DVD session
Sort out the meals for two days.
Sort changes of clothes for 2 days
Rewind 2 videos so they are cued up for the Christmas Top of The Pops music session on Friday morning.
Plait my pubic hair.

If ever I meet someone and they suggest a romantic weekend in Paris, I’ll need two week’s notice for the arrangements.

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