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Why It’s Important To Listen To Families Part 798

April 17, 2013

I came back from work early yesterday, determined to do some new flat hunting, only to find a strange scene awaiting me in the bathroom. The toilet pan was full of Steven’s Diprobase cream. We have tubs of the stuff and there must have been the contents of an entire tub down there. Also, several of the deodorants, bubble bath bottles etc were also smeared in the stuff as well.

Steven came back from swimming a little while later and I called him up to the bathroom. He smiled and said (as if it was the most normal thing in the world) “Steven’s been playing Mrs Doubtfire”. Cue a large penny dropping. he was acting out one of his favourite scenes where Robin Williams gets caught without his Mrs Doubtfire face and slams his head into a large cream cake for disguise!

An hour later we are watching our regular Tuesday Mr Bean episode and Mr Bean has brought a new TV that he can’t get to work. He hits the top of the telly. Steven looked at me and said: “Like Steven Neary at M House”. I remember the incident well and how pissed off they were at the positive behaviour unit. They had just brought a new large LCD TV and had unpacked it from the box, when Steven went over and bashed the top of the TV. You can imagine, that went straight into the “risk behaviour log”, when probably Steven believed that all new tellies needed a good thump to get them started. If it works in the world of Mr Bean……

There was also the other famous incident at the positive behaviour unit where in their report as justification for sending Steven away to the hospital in Wales to assess his “unexplained incidents of concern”, they included Steven “throwing” jars of marmite, sauce, coffee on the floor. If they had asked me for an explanation of the unexplainable, I would have told them about Mr Bean preparing for his New Years Eve party and dropping all of the afore mentioned items of his living room floor.

I know it’s tricky but Steven gets a lot of his life learning from Mr Bean, Basil Fawlty, Gary and Tony from Men Behaving Badly and the drag queens from Priscilla Queen of the Desert. Not the greatest of role models perhaps but it’s all real life to him.

Forget mental capacity assessments. Forget behaviour logs. There is usually an explanation. Just ask. And Listen.

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From → Social Care

4 Comments
  1. Marie permalink

    very true. Also ditto daughters, brothers and grandsons 🙂

  2. Good point Marie – I’ve changed the title

  3. Caroline Wolverson permalink

    Very true. I also find as my son gets older the inclination in others to ask and listen diminishes sadly.

  4. swanarchie07 permalink

    Bloody love it well said. Listening to body language and behaviour speaks volumes and often tells a complete different story.

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