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People, Processes, Plumbing & Paul Heaton

July 16, 2013

I’ve never taken acid. But if I had, it might have felt something like today has felt like.

This morning, I had a meeting with the council to get an update on Steven’s housing situation. On the whole, it felt reasonably positive, although there was nothing concrete to hang that feeling on. The housing manager announced that he had been hoping that he could offer a property this morning but unfortunately, the tenancy hit a glitch late yesterday afternoon and the flat is no longer available. He did reiterate though, that Steven will not be homeless four weeks today and won’t be put in a Bed and breakfast. And he certainly won’t be going back into care. He is very confident that a property will become available in the very near future that we can move into immediately.

There were two surreal moments though. He asked me to go back for another appointment at the end of the week to complete the necessary paperwork on Steven’s behalf. We hit a stumbling block over “acceptable ID”.

“Does he have a passport?”
“No – Steven is scared of aeroplanes. He’s never flown”
“What about a driving licence?”

I wanted to say, “Only his HGV one” but knew that might piss him off.

I also wanted to say: “You must have a whole scrapbook of newspaper articles with Steven on the front page – surely that is ID enough”.

I don’t seriously believe that whether Steven gets a flat or ends up in a B&B hinges on whether he can produce his pilot’s licence or his full collection of war medals. But you can never be totally sure when the system goes into overdrive – let’s see what Friday’s meeting brings.

The other weird bit was when I said that I cannot order any furniture as I dont have an address to deliver it to, or a place to store it. He then went into an offer of renting a council garage for the duration!

This afternoon. Steven and I were doing our Tuesday music tape when a bloke turned up to check whether our balcony was the cause of the leaks in the woman downstairs’ ceiling. After carrying out his checks, he came back into our sitting room and asked to sit on the sofa whilst he completed his report. Steven was listening to “Good As Gold” by The Beautiful South at the time. The guy asked Steven who was singing. Little did he know that he was about to receive Steven’s lecture on the Beautiful South:

“Good as Gold was Jackie Abbott’s first song with The Beautiful South. Briana Corrigan’s last song was Bell Bottomed Tear. She didn’t want to sing 36D – it’s got rude words. Paul Heaton sings Carry on Regardless. Like Sid James, Kenneth Williams, Charlie Hawtrey, Bernard, Jim, Joanie and Hattie. Carry on Doctor has got a rooftop drama. Jackie Abbott’s last song with The Beautiful South was “The Mediterranean”. The she had a baby in her belly and we had no ladies for two more songs…….”

The plumber’s eyes began to glaze over and he made his excuses and left.

I should have asked him to pop into the Civic Centre for me and confirm that Steven Neary is the man with The Beautiful South encyclopedia. Is that ID?

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From → Social Care

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