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No Ghosts

August 5, 2014

Yesterday started out pretty crap. We’ve had three days running of just two hours sleep and yesterday Steven woke up in a meltdown and ended up hurting me. I was so tired, I could barely string a coherent thought together. So, I decided to escape. I was due a respite night, so decided to book myself into an airport hotel. I booked the Holiday Inn.

When I arrived, it was quite a shock. It was the place Julie and I stayed 30 odd years ago on our wedding night. Back then it was a Trust House Forte hotel – that’s why I didn’t realize it was the same place.

A few weeks back at Julie’s funeral I told a story about the hotel. We went back for our anniversary in 1990. Julie arranged it as a surprise and wouldn’t tell me where we were going. We were up in London during the day having IVF treatment and she led me off to Victoria to get the coach back. She was so excited but I was so ungrateful. It was the night of the world cup semi final and I didn’t want to miss the match. She’d thought of that and booked a table in the restaurant for after the match finished. What she hasn’t taken into account was the penalty shoot out (Chris Waddle, Stuart Pearce), so we got down to the restaurant as they were clearing away. I think we ended up with ham sandwiches in our room.

Thirty years on the place is completely different. Even if we’d carved our names on the wall, the walls have been knocked down and rebuilt many times. No ghosts in the building, just in my head and my heart.

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From → Social Care

3 Comments
  1. Emily permalink

    Don’t punish yourself. We all do things we regret. Having gone through IVF myself many times you must have had a very strong marriage to stay together. It is a punishing experience which will either make or break you. She loved you, always remember that X

  2. Weary Mother permalink

    I had a very sad and difficult divorce from my children’s father thirty years ago. Life in general and probably all my energies going into fighting and studying to change the no care or services for our son, became too much to deal with and we broke up. It left many scars on both of us and all our children. We meet up to regularly at care assessments and to jointly challenge our disabled son’s poor/negligent care, but always with this sadness and hurt between us. We passed the place we first met yesterday, as we drove back from a monstrously foul hideous experience in yet another LA versus us meeting. My ex burst out laughing and related a wonderfully silly thing that happened to us there, 50 years ago.. We are on the mend.
    Bless you Mark.

  3. Jayne knight permalink

    How random that might have seemed but was it? Sounds like you could have done with somewhere just to crash for a week!
    Mark the charity I work for has holiday places here in Wales
    If you ever feel you want to get away just let me know
    For all you do for everyone else it’s the least we could offer as a free weekend or week
    They are fab
    Stephen could come too but we can give him and his support some space and you so you get to be really by him but have time to chill too
    Let me know if you ever feel you would like to
    We can pick you up from chester station if you prefer train

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