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The Similarities Between Steven Neary & Peter Ustinov

January 6, 2015

I remember watching Peter Ustinov being interviewed by Parkinson many years ago. They were discussing dinner parties and those people who pin you to the wall to get you to agree with their opinion. Ustinov claimed to have found the perfect response/exit line. You wait until the person leans back, confident they have delivered their killer shot and say:

“Ah yes. Very good point. But not in the South”.

They will be so bemused by this, you can slip away whilst they are still working out whether they heard correctly.

Steven has a similar approach to a debate. Just when you think you have all bases covered, he will deliver a perfect Ustinov googly.

This morning, Steven was having a music session with Chris, his support worker. The track “My Camera Never Lies” came on.

Chris: “Steve – do you think that Bucks Fizz are a bit like Abba?”

Steven: “No. Chris is talking like a silly man. Bucks Fizz is not like Abba. No beards in Bucks Fizz”.

Chris, knowing that Steven likes lookalikes/sound-alikes decides to pursue the theme:

Chris: “So, are Boney M a bit like Abba?”

That was just met with total derision.

Steven: “TUT. Boney M is not like Abba. Boney M sounds a bit like Ottawon”.

I decide to chip in with perhaps Steps are a bit like Abba. Steven concedes that the video to Last Thing On My Mind is a bit Abbaesque but dismisses my reasoning because there are “three ladies in Steps”.

Chris throws in another couple of suggestions but they are given short shrift. Eventually, he tries to return serve:

Chris: “So, who is a bit like Abba then Steve?”

Steven: “Ace of Base is a bit like Abba”

Fair play to Chris – he has seen the All That She Wants video and thinks he is on a winner:

Chris: “But the men in Ace of Base haven’t got beards Steve?”

Steven, with the withering look of a man who can’t quite believe someone would put forward such a facile argument, pulls out his trump:

Steven: “Ace of Base is a bit like Abba because Ace of Base live near the archipelago. Like Bjorn Uvelus writing Fernando”.

Chris knows he is beaten and sidles off to the kitchen for a restorative biscuit. He knows he has been Ustinoved.

Steven is never smug in his victories. By now, the CD has moved on to “It Ain’t What You Do It’s The Way That You Do It”. And Alan, the second support worker for swimming,  has walked through the door.

Steven: “Chris – Siobhan looks like Auntie Jayne with her blue shirt and purple leggings on. And Neville looks a bit like you Alan”.

Chris takes refuge in the saucepan cupboard.

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From → Social Care

2 Comments
  1. Superb, just superb. Thank you for the chuckle this gave me.

    I will have to remember the Ustinoved verb for future use, it happens so often in our house.

  2. TRS permalink

    My brother-in-law’s avoidance response is, ‘What is the other one called?’
    It’s a terrific strategy for diverting a conversation. Until now I didn’t know we’d been Ustinoved!

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