Skip to content

The Viral Diversity Launch

January 20, 2015

“Good morning ladies and gentlemen. Thank you for inviting me to your magnificent committee room five for the launch of your Viral Diversity Majestum. My name is Samantha Cakehole. Hello. Or you can call me Sam. Or Sammy. Either is splendid. I don’t bite. I am here, speaking to you as CEO of SST – Success Starts Today. We’re a 2015 company, offering 2015 solutions to 2015 challenges. I am delighted that our £5m partnership deal with Newport Pagnellshire Adult Social Care has resulted in today’s launch. I guess it’s quite timely, launching the majestum on this bitterly cold, frosty morning. Why? Because I’m often asked what is Viral Diversity. And I answer that there’s nothing I like more on a winter’s day than a steaming hot bowl of succulent casserole. So, if we break down Viral Diversity as a concept and look at those two words that drive its values and ethos, you will see immediately that I am talking about a modern way casserole for the year 2015 and for many to follow. It is a lifelong meal. It’s not rocket science in an ironic post modernist way. Viral means what it says. It’s Viral. And Diversity means having diversity in its many forms of diversity.

So, what is Viral Diversity? Well, there are five ingredients to its success. Five threads to its innovative and infinite tapestry. And without further ado, let me cover those five jewels in some depth……

The first ingredient we call, The Strategic Spatula. Everything has to be strategic. You cannot succeed in this game without strategies upon strategies. But what good is a casserole without a spatula. Yes. You see. Let your leaders see the spatula and embrace the spatulism. Don’t fear the spatula, as many not so great leaders in history have done. Claim it, in all its strategic glory.

Next, we throw into the pot, Engage Engagedly with Engagement. All you Leader/Chefs out there – you can’t stand and watch your casserole, you must engage with it. Engage with the carrots. And then the carrots will engage with the leeks. And when the brisket is well and truly engaged, we know we’re all singing from the same hymn sheet. Leave no unturned stone disengaged.

I can see that this is all falling into place nicely for you. Good. The third ingredient is Lead, Lead, Lead Those Peas. It’s not enough in 2015, to just Lead the brisket. No. You have to get right into that casserole and Lead the Peas. Those tiny little creatures at the bottom of the pot that it is oh so easy to overlook. They are crying out for your leadership. Respect and Respond to their cry. The awards and public recognition is nice but the petit pois need your attention too.

The pot is bubbling away famously by now. The penultimate thread is Be An Innovative Ian. Ian? I hear you ask. I’m going to be quite humble now and share with you that this was my key contribution to Viral Diversity. It was the summer of 1986 and I was sitting in a bar in Cromer. And who should be sitting at the next table but Ian Ogilvy. His days as The Saint were over but by golly, could that man blue sky. That day changed my life good people of Committee Room Five and I wouldn’t be here with you now if it hadn’t been for that chance encounter with Ian. I was innovated by Ian. Now it’s your turn. Get out there and innovate like Mr Ian Ogilvy.

And finally, there’s only one thing left to do – Empower the Transparent Tureen. See the richness of the process. Smell the juices of your labours. You can’t do that with outdated, outmoded ceramic pots. This is the age of transparency. You can see me. I can see you. Would we want it any other way?

Thank you for listening. Take this away with you and dance and sing the song of Viral Diversity. I did. And I hope you will too.”

Advertisements

From → Social Care

5 Comments
  1. Weary Mother permalink

    Oh, if only it were not so true.

    Anyone remember the Agenda for Choice and the Agenda for Change……cost millions and millions and …..?

    • Pauline Thomas permalink

      Does anyone remember Valuing People and all the money wasted on that. Our LA used all the money allotted to them from the government on meaningless consultations which resulted in nothing. All promises reneged on. Many people with LD left without any decent services resulting in mental illness and lots of medication.

  2. I don’t think you should be doing this – somebody out there is going to think it is a great idea.

  3. Ewok1 permalink

    I like your blog but can you leave Newport Pagnell out of it. I am very fond of the town.

  4. Ruth Westnidge permalink

    Oh God I LOVE this! Ex homeless support worker now single mum of one. I love your blog wish you and Steven well. Best wishes from sunny Barcelona

    Ruth Westnidge

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: