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Aven En Blooma & Viral Leadership

July 6, 2015

Professional to Steven: “Have you been out on your community programme this morning Steven?”

Steven: “No. Steven Neary’s been swimming”.

I love Steven’s direct way with language. I love his whole relationship with language. Most of all, I love the way he cuts through all the bullshit and goes straight to the heart of the matter. I get envious and wish I could be more like him.

If Steven isn’t understanding what the other person is saying, he has three stock phrases:

“Lady’s doing silly talking”.

“Why don’t you talk properly” (Thank you Basil Fawlty)

“Man’s doing MFL talking. Like Steven Neary in class 6 with David Watson”

For the uninitiated, MFL is Modern Foreign Languages. That lesson was a constant source of excitement but bewilderment for Steven. He’d go into the sweet shop and say, “Bonjour Ranjit. A Caramac s’il vous please”. On Wednesdays. On Sundays however, he’d revert to English, leaving Ranjit totally perplexed. MFL class was on Wednesdays, so I’d like to think that Steven believed that you only use “different words” on Wednesdays.

Perversely, being an Abba fan, he has never for one moment questioned that Swedish might be a MFL. After getting an Abba documentary DVD, Steven plagued me to buy their music pre and post Abba. So, I’d be searching through Amazon Sweden for CDs by The Hootenanny Singers and The Hep Stars. Post Abba, Anna Frid released an album and the lead track was “Aven en Blooma”. It’s sung entirely in Swedish but Steven knows all the words. He doesn’t acknowledge that she is singing in another language. To make it more surreal, Steven sings it in his London accent so it comes out as “Having a bloomer”. Like a cross between Dizzee Rascal and Dick Van Dyke via a Stockholm archipelago.

He doesn’t like change in words. I got him the deluxe copy of Take That’s “Beautiful World”. The non deluxe copy was turned deluxe by adding a DVD of three hits and two extra tracks. Also, the deluxe version of Rule The World has an extra verse. Every time he listens to it, he says: “Dad – different words Dad. Gary Barlow – what do you think you’re doing?”

Yesterday, I watched a Southern Health video, where KP was trying to inspire her staff by telling them they are inspiring. You don’t have to watch the whole thing. In fact, that’s an order, not a recommendation. You will probably be a danger to yourself and the community by the end of it.

I wonder what Steven would make of it if he was sitting in the audience:

“Dad. Lady’s doing silly talking. You can’t push an envelope Lady. You can push a trolley in Tesco but you can’t push an envelope”.

“Dad. Lady’s a vanguard Dad. Bit like the Fat Controller”.

“Dad. Lady’s got the shivers with the inspirations. Better put a cardigan on Lady”.

Or he might have just eaten all the cakes.

Better still. Sod KP. Sod the cakes. Have a bloomer with Anna Frid instead:

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From → Social Care

7 Comments
  1. KP’s voice has all the musicality of a rusty saw going through wet wood. Painful, even before you start forcing yourself to listen to the coprolitic content.

    Thank goodness for Frida.

  2. Sally permalink

    I can only assume that the people who hired her (who ? who?) admired her ability to speak pure weasel and her proficient in empty ,meaningless faux aspirational phraseology. People being inspired usually have actual concrete goals and achievements.
    She has no wit, no charm, no sense of the absurd and no ability to communicate clearly. She could barely make it as the assistant stock controller at a minor Lidl.
    I know! Let’s put her in charge of caring for the most vulnerable.
    I would have preferred her spiel in Swedish…

  3. nic permalink

    Not agreeing with any of the comments, sometimes a person’s body language/vocals are going to be a challenge to engage with. I’ll go with her crap content. No ability to communicate clearly? that is tough isn’t it at least no one finished her sentences for her, and looking down on assistant stock controllers. Christ I never expected to read these sort of comments here.

  4. Sally permalink

    Sorry Nic, I was not meaning to sneer at stock controllers,. I was meaning to sneer, a great deal, at Ms Pearcy, based on her crummy presentation and appalling history as CEO of Southern Health.
    She has no communication impairment other than some sort of belief that talking PR tosh flatters and fools her aufdience and is as good as saying things clearly. For delivering speeches like this she is paid hundreds of thousands of pounds and has a very high prestige job.
    The po faced staff politely giving her a hearing in the clip were clearly meant to be jolly grateful for her wise words.

    • nic permalink

      hear you Sally, KP doesn’t get the job if I am hiring and is long gone by now. Morph her into Fiona Bruce and I am still not buying. On mute the whole thing passed for tea for the fete committee, ” you have all done very well ” thanks Mr Grace style. Accountability for a preventable death wasn’t hanging heavily in that room.

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