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The Birds Come Home To Roost In Committee Room Five

January 19, 2016

Some of the keen eyed amongst you will perhaps have noticed that the Newport Pagnellshire Bugle has been running a series of exposes about the workings of the Social Care Majestum. In particular, they have got great mileage out of reporting the “scandal” of a handful of deaths in our in patient services. (Editors note – you must have jolly big hands because at the last count we’re talking 2888 deaths in the past twelve months). We in the Majestum have been consistently confident in both our recording and reporting of this pittance of unexpected, uninvestigated deaths but it seems that in some quarters, especially within bitter, toxic families, our actions have been questioned.

On Thursday at 9.35am, the CQC will be paying us an unannounced visit to inspect our latest action plans around the thorny issue of the rather bothersome deaths of our service users. Over the weekend we have put together another of our award winning action plans and have made a unilateral board decision to share that plan with you before the inspectors get their jaundiced eyes all over it. The Board commissioned the excellent, Trussell Touch Ups Consultancy (no relation) to build a plan that will see us into the future and keep the press off our backs. And £947k for 48 hours work is an absolute steal. We will be rolling out the action plan at our inspirational tea parties across all work areas over the next 16 years. Without further ado, we’d like to introduce you to our Tool Kit of Pigeons:

The Homing Pigeon Innovation For Death Matrixing

There are four key areas to our plan and we have illustrated these action points with a significant symbolic pigeon:

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This is Idris Pigeon and I is for Investigation. Idris Pigeon will lead a team of four work experience investigators who are committed to looking into every demise the Majestum encounters.

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This is Ingrid & Ian Pigeon and they represent Involvement. Engage with families and other interested stakeholders. If we don’t involve, then we reduce the odds on who we can shift the blame onto.

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This is Lionel Pigeon and he is head of Lessons Learned. For example, we have already revised our educational programme and will no longer be taking service users on field trips in the fast lane of the M4.

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And finally we have Trevor Pigeon who stands for all things open and transparent. Gone are the days when we go on the attack when we feel our reputation is at stake. It’s 2016 and we have to take all criticism on the chin.

We think we’re on to a winner. Regardless of what the CQC deems to report back, we firmly believe that our deep dive into the cutting edge of death reporting will have our awards cabinets bursting at the seams come autumn.

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From → Social Care

One Comment
  1. Cinnamon permalink

    All too true. Sadly.

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