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Mr Neary’s One Page Profile

March 6, 2018

This morning I read a very sad tweet from Dr Shibley Rahman. His mother is a patient at the Royal Free hospital and Dr Shibley has been wondering why the staff keep trying to engage his mother in conversations that she has no interest in. All became clear when he noticed that they had pinned the wrong person’s one page profile to the foot of her bed.

I have a love/hate relationship with the one page profile. I can see its benefit but to reduce someone’s life to one page reduces me to tears. Especially because they are often compiled by complete strangers.

It set me off into another morbid fantasy. I couldn’t bear to write a one page profile for Steven – that would be far too sad. So, here is mine.

The year is 2039.Ā  I am 80. I have been in a maximum security twilight home for the last five years:

One Page Profile: Mark Neary

Mr Neary likes conversations about his past. To assist him, and staff, the following information and pictures will be useful to engage him in his social interaction programme:

21149939_10154676641377274_8959540532804174531_nDuring his childhood, Mr Neary spent many happy hours at Southall open air swimming baths. It was bulldozed to the ground in 1982:

dartsThe best live concert Mr Neary ever saw was by Darts at the Hammersmith Odeon. He still knows all the words to Duke of Earl:

1929923_15317802273_2828_nFor many years Mr Neary was a regular gym goer. Obviously delusional & a sign if his current condition, he still harbours dreams of achieving the 100kg bench press:

caulicheese_lgMr Neary cannot abide cauliflower cheese. Under no circumstances must he be fed this.

20170720_105909Mr Neary had a son called Stefan. Since Mr Neary deteriorated 10 years ago, Stefan has been living in a service in Northampton. It has been decided that it is in both their best interests that contact has ceased.

Mr Neary will try to engage staff with conversations about The Jam, Leeds United Football Club, Pear drops, Fawlty T

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3 Comments
  1. Sarah permalink

    I was at that Darts concert in Hammersmith! When they sang Reet Petite they got my LD brother to sing into the microphone. They were a fantastic band to see live. Such happy memories šŸ™‚

    • Pauline Thomas permalink

      My son’s all time favourite song is Reet Petite sung by Jackie Wilson. Playing it guarantees a huge grin, even when he is miserable.

      Mark, I love cauliflower cheese! Incidentally you are never going to be in a twilight home at 80. More like in a home for wayward boys and girls. (For Mark read Jack)

      • Ah! As I fully understand that reference, that probably means my admission may be sooner than I expected. šŸ˜‰

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